Am I a cad?

[bumper]

Ya it does happen a widow here hooked up with a guy who is still working owned her on house. He pays for expense that's it. She goes and visits him for months at a time when he is working. So it does happen and they are very happy. They are both great people both friends of ours so we were elated when this happened.

[Paul]

Look at it from her point of view. she is a widow getting on in life and up with competition from much younger and cuter girls. She (perhaps) hasn't considered sitting in a bar trying to find a new man, but has met someone on the net, chatted to him, been (apparently) very honest with him, told him she doesn't want anything from him - except the normal 'support' that any woman can expect (bills, repairs etc).
So far she has asked for nothing.

I too see no negatives so far apart from the posters apparent guilt.

There is no need for guilt, if you have the financial means to continue with your retirement plans then what are you going to lose if it doesn't work out )except a few nights of depression?

I would say continue planning and keeping in control of the situation and give it a go - you might well find that your instincts are correct - despite the cynics.

The very best of luck to you

PS. I assume she is from Udon - you only said "Thailand"

Keep us posted

[BarnicaleBob]

I would like to thank all of you for the information and support you have given me on this forum and on this subject. I have sold everything I own and I will be arriving in Thailand on Dec. 10, 2009 with my suitcases packed with all the things I own and my Thai one year multiple entry visa in hand.
Like I said from the beginning, this move to Thailand was going to always happen with or without a TGF waiting for me. As it happens my relationship with the TGF I have been talking about when I started this subject is still going strong and so far all she has told me has proven to be true.
My only disappointment is that my TGF lives in Chiang Mai and not Udon which was the area I had thought would best suit me. However, Chiang Mai was my second pick and the fact that she is there with a house, car and income of her own will make it worth the change.
I do wish I could find a forum as active and good as this one that is in Chiang Mai, It would be more like being with my friends.
I plan on traveling around Thailand a lot during my first year and Udon is at the top of my list of places to visit. I look forward to stopping in at some of the many places I have read about here such as the Englishman's Retreat, Sabai Sabai Fishing Park, The Book House & Coffee Shop, Chern Chim Quality Foods, and all those other interesting places that so many of you speak of. This forum has been one of the greatest tools to prepare me for my move and I am so thankful to have found it.

[BKKSTAN]

Best of luck BB,sounds like ,you have a good relationship possibilty which is probably the most important concern for you to focus on!It will probably effect your life more than the expat relationships you will have,wherever you wind up living!

That being said,if the situation with her family and her,is relatively positive in her area,you would do well to stay there,IMO!

You will find members of the expat community there to share with!

Very intimate close friends are few and far between in life anyway!Friendly relationships with other expats of similar familiar culture are not that hard to find,as we ''need'' each other to integrate easier into life here and have some familiarity in our lives,such as understandable communication ,jokes ,similar or familiar background talks and Worldly oriented conversations versus the opposite with Thais ,in general!

The forum is always available to you anyway,your relationship with her is probably the most important thing to focus on now.Hopefully it will be fruitful and a positive situation,but if not,Udon will always be here,available for a transition situation if needed !

Since you have ''sold the farm'',it is imperative that you take it slow and easy,pay attention and not be to assuming!

Wish you all the luck necessary as you make your ''move''!

[BarnicaleBob]

I have arrived in Thailand and I am very pleased to say my TGF has turned out to be everything she said she was. I have been here almost a week now and I am beginning to settle in. The house is great and I am enjoying sitting on the front porch by the Koi pond for my meals and occasional internet use. I will be getting my yellow house book by the end of the week and then I plan on getting a Thai drivers license.
The expat who lives next door was the best friend of my TGF's now dead husband. He seems OK with me being with his old mates wife and I guess I do not need to worry so much about being a cad after all.
Again thank you one and all for your input and support.

BB

[BKKSTAN]

Fantastic!!If you visit Udon,try to make it on a 2nd or 4th Sat.of the month so you can meet many of the posters at the Night market get-togethers!

[elvisman]

This has been a great thread to read. It's info like this that farangs need to share.
And Bill... I wish you the best. Good luck with the driver's license. Speaking of driving in LOS, can I put my name on the waiting list if you meet the same fate as the previous husband?? Just joking, of course.. You are not a cad.. I'm just jealous!

[BarnicaleBob]

Fantastic!!If you visit Udon,try to make it on a 2nd or 4th Sat.of the month so you can meet many of the posters at the Night market get-togethers!

As it turns out my TGF is a Issan girl and in April we will be traveling through Udon on our way to Roi Et where her mom and dad have a farm for our annual visit. I will plan on spending a few days in Udon either coming or going from Roi Et and I will make sure it is around the 2nd or 4th Sat. so we can make it to the Night market get-together.

BB