MY thoughts on this situation.....

[goonersh]

Hello again, one ban and a week later...... life is good

I have spent the past week having some very deep and meaningful talks with Kloi, based on what i have been told on here... and based on my own thoughts.... we have gone into each others pasts, she has shared with me her concerns about many things, coming to Australia,my daughter, the mother of my daughter and she has been totally honest and up front about her experiences in the singing place in Bangkok.

She got very angry and upset when i first talked about it as she felt she explained it to me when we first met, it seems she did but i misunderstood it totally

The bottom line is, she has proved herself to be even more 100% genuine than i thought when i started my original thread, and i could not be happier. Any confusion about her past was really down to our communication, and not her being deceitful. I have also been totally honest with her about my past, and what i want from her, and what i would like us to do together.... Her English is coming on in leaps and bounds... and i am learning Thai as best i can too so we really are effectivly communicating

IMO Kloi is a beautiful, delicate yet fiery HONEST girl who has been treated very badly by her last boyfriend,She has fears and desires just like i do, and she is totally into me in a non leechy money grabbing way. How much more could i ask fronm a person???? I am totally happy, and you lot are slightly to blame for that!!!!!

I dont care about her past, I just want to make sure she has a happy future... with me by her side... three and a half weeks to go.....and i cannot wait

thanks

PS, her mum woke her up last night because apparently she was talking about me in her sleep.... how cute is that!!!

[trubrit]

d

PS, her mum woke her up last night because apparently she was talking about me in her sleep.... how cute is that!!!

Suppose it depends on what she was saying.

[BKKSTAN]

Sounds great and you are obviously happy so far.Communication and setting boundaries are the key and I wish you well.Slow down,don't speed by some things that have to be noticed and talked about!

Ask her about her culture,tell her about yours,compare the two and see where the compromises are!
Don't loose yourself or expect her to conform to your ideals except for honesty which you should thoroughly explain the importance of building trust!!!!

[laphanphon]

stop it, you're making me sick, all this damn puppy love/yellow fever BS, happy happy happy.

good luck, think you received all the appropriate advice, good and bad. trust is the most important, point that out. many can live together without love, but not trust, it's just a matter of time before an untrusting relationship fails. trust me

enjoy the yellow fever honeymoon as long as possible..............

[Khun Paul]

As long as you are happy with the situation depite what we old farts tell you, there are some things in which you go with your gut instincts.

I concur with the two previous posts, trust is probably more important than anything else, but as the old saying goes dop not put all your eggs into one basket, keep some in another one just in case, I done that for 40 odd years and it works.

[goonersh]

As long as you are happy with the situation depite what we old farts tell you, there are some things in which you go with your gut instincts.

I concur with the two previous posts, trust is probably more important than anything else, but as the old saying goes dop not put all your eggs into one basket, keep some in another one just in case, I done that for 40 odd years and it works.

Trust is the key, and that goes for every girl you meet of whatever nationality... and ATM i trust her... I have taken all advice on board and will return with eyes open to survey the scene with more dilligance than say... the ... 911 commision (oops)

Suppose it depends on what she was saying..

Apparently she was saying "dont go ash, dont go ash i love you" It caused a family giggle from what i have heard..

[bjoehoe]

As you stated in your previous tread that you cannot financially support her family/parents: Unless you are aware of it, please keep in mind that in rural areas, GENERALLY SPEAKING, a girl that financially supports her parents/family is considered "good", no matter by which means she does so. In fact a girl successfully working bars etc is considered a successful businesswoman.
If she stays home to help on the farm or around the house, that's fine, too. If she marries a thai man and they have children she is supposed to provide for her own little family first and foremost.
However, if she has a farang husband/bf it's another matter. Unless she financially supports her parents/family so that it shows off she may be conisered "not so good", and in many cases rather an embarrasment to her family. Unless she cut the ties to her family, which is most unlikely, they will put pressure on her. Subsequently you will feel the pressure too, unless she hides it from you.
IMO the breaking up of farang/thai relationships is in a significant amount of cases caused by such or smilar circumstanses.

[saint]

understand these peoples cultures and traditions , before you start laying down terms and conditions , that it would be imposible for your lady to not only accept , but understand , and try to live with . this is thailand , not down town hicksville . respect is a two way street !!!!!!!

[goonersh]

we just did webcam for two hours, she was in non sa at.... it was kooooooooooooooool...

[pompui]

she has shared with me her concerns about many things, coming to Australia,my daughter, the mother of my daughter and she has been totally honest and up front about her experiences in the singing place in Bangkok.

She got very angry and upset when i first talked about it as she felt she explained it to me when we first met, it seems she did but i misunderstood it totally

The bottom line is, she has proved herself to be even more 100% genuine than i thought when i started my original thread, and i could not be happier. Any confusion about her past was really down to our communication, and not her being deceitful. I have also been totally honest with her about my past, and what i want from her, and what i would like us to do together.... Her English is coming on in leaps and bounds... and i am learning Thai as best i can too so we really are effectivly communicating

IMO Kloi is a beautiful, delicate yet fiery HONEST girl who has been treated very badly by her last boyfriend,

I dont care about her past, I just want to make sure she has a happy future... with me by her side... three and a half weeks to go.....and i cannot wait

thanks

Just wanted to clarify a couple of things,so you met in June and now wish to apply very soon for a tourist visa for her to visit you in Austalia or to go back with you when you next visit here? Presumably the embassy staff dealing with your application about where you met,what jobs she has been doing and in which places in Bangkok,your status as student and how you can financially support her for the trip will look kindly to sanctioning a visa,seems highly unlikely having just met her!

Anyway if you are interested about the singing places/clubs or whatever she has been working in then am sure the internet would find reviews for these places or forums discussing the pros or cons of these places.You did mention their names on another thread? but can put the info on here again just in case a forumite would be willing to google the names for you.Otherwise am sure the Oz embassy would have an idea how good these singing clubs are


helpful website link for tourist oz visa for thais:-

http://www.ozvisathai.com/australian_to ... ation.html

[goonersh]

Just wanted to clarify a couple of things,so you met in June and now wish to apply very soon for a tourist visa for her to visit you in Austalia or to go back with you when you next visit here?

Yes, but even if it takes longer, we wil wait

Presumably the embassy staff dealing with your application about where you met,what jobs she has been doing and in which places in Bangkok,your status as student and how you can financially support her for the trip will look kindly to sanctioning a visa,seems highly unlikely having just met her!

I know, i have a mate willing to offer me a job, and i will put my course on hold. As for her work, It seems she HAS lived at home for three years, It seems she has worked on the family land, I am trying to work out if she actually has any of that land in her name, from what i have read all this helps towards a visa.

Anyway if you are interested about the singing places/clubs or whatever she has been working in then am sure the internet would find reviews for these places or forums discussing the pros or cons of these places.You did mention their names on another thread? but can put the info on here again just in case a forumite would be willing to google the names for you.

I am not interested in what she did three years ago, She has told me what happened, I believe her.. I did originally google the places but to be honest i got enough general info on how the clubs work without having to go to specific ones. lets just say that if i ever meet her ex, i will not be responsible for my actions..... she was treated horribly by a thai guy... and thats why she has been single so long...i will say no more on that because its quite personal

helpful website link for tourist oz visa for thais:-
http://www.ozvisathai.com/australian_to ... ation.html

Thanks for the link, I am actually Mr Visa learning central ATM, I am documenting our conversations, SMS's dated photographs, and anything else i can think of. Plus i am reading blogs, forums and talking to anyone here who has done the same... I have a mate willing to stick funds in my account to show i have $$$ to support her... but i am hoping that she MIGHT, just MIGHT get here without a financial assurance of support... (land ownership)

I have also got Kloi to go and read (in thai) just what she will have to go through to get a visa... we can only try, we ARE genuine so that must count for something, I know Aussies are pretty strict, but genuine cases usually stand out amongst all others from what ive read and been told so........ fingers crossed, and if it fails and we are together.. ill just come there for a year

[pompui]

If there has not been any name transfer on the family land to her yet, then suggest that she gets that done pretty quick so that could be used for the tourist visa request for september.
Trouble here in LOS sometimes land title papers are used for loans whether bank or otherwise,more likely borrowed money locally.
So reading back on your last thread,she has provided for them for 6 years and they need this continued in some way.
Are they concerned at moment,yes maybe 3 months granted as first time visa to Oz so no income for 3 months.First you said she has not been home for 3 years,then say it now,that she has not worked in singing establishment for 3 years but only farm labourer for last 3 years until she decided to travel all the way to Samui to for promise of work from where?
Must admit sinsod for a young lady,not married before,no kids outside of a marriage,income earner for the family,limited education?-must be a compromise despite your original staement of 'no sinsod,no marriage'.Maybe just pay money to build the little food shop in the village as she wants for her parents.

It is difficult trying to decipher some of your posts with some conflicting information.Am still wondering in my head the mention that you went tesco once in a pickup,finance company owned I presume and she that she has a motorbike.Must have earned considerable monies working over 3 years ago singing if both are fully paid up.And Kloi has existing funds to pay for webcam/internet use? because her daily salary is needed to support the family daily?,
Presumably we are talking about an internet shop in nong sa aat,strange if she is doing that at home in the barn,as you say the dwelling looks like.

So to surmise, 3 months normal sanction for Tourist Visa for first timer to Oz from Thailand,get land papers in her name,temporary of course,family can have it back! to support application that she will return and not disappear in Oz after visa expiry or try and marry you there to then request settlement.A tad naughty, same as borrowing money from a friend to look as if you have your own money to support her while in Oz no sinsod but to keep the parents happy,promise that you will pay for a little shop for them in the village which in turn makes Kloi even more happier being with you.3 months Kloi not supporting family so 3 months at 3000 baht so 9000 baht ,because you still have to pay for Kloi's flight ticket.And because she is honest then if there is an interview at the embassy ie Thai staff and Kloi alone, not with you in attendance, then she can tell them exactly what her future plans are with you or what promises have been made.
So the next step is what happens after she returns back at end of December,there are plenty of so called fortune tellers up here in Udon province and Thais love to go and see them and believe their future will follow exactly how the gypsy says.The service is never free

[goonersh]

If there has not been any name transfer on the family land to her yet, then suggest that she gets that done pretty quick so that could be used for the tourist visa request for september.

Indeed, but very hard to communicate this particular thing to her to be honest.. i have tried!

Trouble here in LOS sometimes land title papers are used for loans whether bank or otherwise,more likely borrowed money locally..

I guess you know more about that than me.. i know nothing of what you mention

So reading back on your last thread,she has provided for them for 6 years and they need this continued in some way.
..

For three years but not for the past three years

Are they concerned at moment,yes maybe 3 months granted as first time visa to Oz so no income for 3 months...

I can only do what i can do,andto be honest the brother should get off his ass and work

First you said she has not been home for 3 years,then say it now,that she has not worked in singing establishment for 3 years but only farm labourer for last 3 years until she decided to travel all the way to Samui to for promise of work from where?
...

It was totally my misunderstanding and thats all, i thought she was telling me she had not been home for three years, when n fact she was telling me she HAD lived at home for three years, she left Bangkok in tears when she saw her violent ex shagging another girl in their room... I have no doubt she is being honset as some of the things she told me were quite shocking, and a bit personal to go into on here. As for the samui thing, she got a call from a friend in bangkok who gave her the number or the mamasan who promised her work in Samui managing bar.. thats what i have been told, and once again it all checks out based on what otheres have told me about this evil bitch in Samui and what i have seen her do.. She was in Samui two or three days when she met me and the bar was not even open......if i am wrong, i am wrong.. but she aint there now and thats all that counts

Must admit sinsod for a young lady,not married before,no kids outside of a marriage,income earner for the family,limited education?-must be a compromise despite your original staement of 'no sinsod,no marriage'.Maybe just pay money to build the little food shop in the village as she wants for her parents....

Erm, i actually think i said i would be happy to honour tradition but not to pay some crazy amount that would leave me in debt and broke forever. I did ask her no sin sod no wedding... but it was only a question

It is difficult trying to decipher some of your posts with some conflicting information.Am still wondering in my head the mention that you went tesco once in a pickup,finance company owned I presume and she that she has a motorbike.....

I made some mistakes based on language problems in my original postings, Van is WELL old, and she does have a bike that has been paid for but i dont think that is new

Must have earned considerable monies working over 3 years ago singing if both are fully paid up.And Kloi has existing funds to pay for webcam/internet use? because her daily salary is needed to support the family daily?,
Presumably we are talking about an internet shop in nong sa aat,strange if she is doing that at home in the barn,as you say the dwelling looks like......

Yes internet shop on the main drag in Non sa aat, Paid for by the $120 bucks i sent her two weeks ago,which i offered, and she did not ask for.she is NOT supporting her family ATM. I dont care what she did in the past now... its the past

So to surmise, 3 months normal sanction for Tourist Visa for first timer to Oz from Thailand,get land papers in her name,temporary of course,family can have it back! to support application that she will return and not disappear in Oz after visa expiry or try and marry you there to then request settlement.A tad naughty, same as borrowing money from a friend to look as if you have your own money to support her while in Oz ......

we are all a little naughty

no sinsod but to keep the parents happy,promise that you will pay for a little shop for them in the village which in turn makes Kloi even more happier being with you.

Already suggested, gradual support rather than a huge wad of cash which i aint got...

3 months Kloi not supporting family so 3 months at 3000 baht so 9000 baht .

Had not thought of that to be honest

she is honest then if there is an interview at the embassy ie Thai staff and Kloi alone, not with you in attendance, then she can tell them exactly what her future plans are with you or what promises have been made..

Thats the plan

So the next step is what happens after she returns back at end of December,there are plenty of so called fortune tellers up here in Udon province and Thais love to go and see them and believe their future will follow exactly how the gypsy says.The service is never free

Anyone wanna dress up as a gypsy!!!! My plan so far is....Ill comeback for the summer holidays,bring my daughter,we will get married and apply for a visa for her, then i will return to OZ and wait to see if she gets the visa.. thats the sort of plan, depending on how it goes, if she likes it here and more.... life is full of twists and turns

cheerz

[pompui]

Forgot about the marriage option here,offical I presume ie Amphur,the party which most Thais associate being the official wedding seen that they all get pissed on white whisky can wait till the new year or even the thai new year being April.
I would be surprised that there are land papers available for what looks like a poor family but you never know,marrying here would be the option if none available and should quieten the visa application staff at the embassy,just have loads of pictures taken.

Anyway on a side note,most villages,my TW has one,have a loan shark as we would call it,someone who the locals borrow money from whether daily amounts of 100/200 baht or higher monthly/yearly lump sums basically because they would never have a high enough credit score to go the bank route.Good money for the loan shark,20% monthly interest as opposed to the norm 15% annual interest on say loan with family member or someone in the village with land paper with no house on,banks much less annually.
These type of things do happen and hope that the family are not hiding any hidden debts especially since originally quoting such a high sinsod.
Anyway did go to a gypsy with TW once as she did believe in them once but I asked the fortune teller,ok then, what is a lucky number for the next lottery to win millions of baht and commission 10% to the gypsy.Of course never won

Now you are becoming a hardened member on this forum like some of us,am sure you will keep us informed through these coming months