Sin Sod, marry in udon

[maaka]

Yup I have come across a bar girl type woman asking 1,000,000 baht, and a 18yrs old country virgin whos mama was asking 300,000, plus the divorce mum with 3 kids asking 600,000..yet what my thai friends tell me, 100,000 is quite adequate, max even, and a considerable amount of that 100,000 will go to the monks who attend your wedding, if the family are strick buddhists, and you get married at the local temple.

some are abusing the tradition wholesale, some are not..the divorced women with the 3 kids said ' you pay big now ( 600,000) and mama and papa not come back and ask for more later '...thai men dont generally have oddles of money, so their price is much lower anyway..

to me I look at sin sod as a tradition, but having said that, one must barter with papa if sin sod is asked for, that is tradition also..there can be many angles that come into it, tradition, money offerings to buddha / monks, woman's status in the community, face saving amongst other thai friends and family, etc etc...its up to you what you think is fair, and appropriate, weighted up against what future care you will provide for your asian beauty..its a clash of cultures..I told my ex that in my country the wifes family paid for everything about wedding..ohhhhhhh..in thailand it is the husbands family....one should be able to find a compromise somewhere if one elects to pay sin sod.....just my humble opinion tempered with guidance from my thai friends and my knowledge of buddhist culture..

[MALC]

really sin sod should be paid to us falangs. as 99 PERcent dont have nowt. when they have us. they have everything, just my thought.

[BKKSTAN]

Sin sod came up for discussion ,again,last night at the NM get together.Consensus was that everyone is different ,including the families and the falangs relationship with them.So it is an individual decision for each relationship!
IMO,many Thai families that are genuinely concerned about the longterm success of their daughter being married to a falang,with all the cultural differences that present problems,want to insure their daughters future as she gives up her youthful beauty.Who can blame them for asking for large sin sod and holding on to it?Except to another falang,her marriage opportunities are severely limited after this marriage!

In other cases,it is strictly greed,whether by design or instilled by comparison to other falang marriage situatons around them and it could be in combination with making face!Whatever it is,it is part of the individual falang/Thai relationship at the moment!

My wife had been married before and 10K sin sod was paid.Her parents being dead when we met,there was never a discussion about sin sod only immediate testing requests for borrowing money from brothers and sisters!

I would not have paid a sin sod request at the time,nor was I willing to pay a monthly payment to my wife as it made me feel like I was buying her,which would not have worked for me personally,but does work for others,so I think it is right for them!!

Trust,honesty and partnership was my position.Things that had to be tested ,developed and nurtured over time before I was willing to be in a large financial loss position.Until then she would have to trust me about our commitment,the same as I was trusting her.

It worked for us,10 years later she has complete access to all assets in Thailand and is assured that those in America are hers also!

Our type of relationship might not work for others,so who are we to say what is right for them!

By the way,I would like 2 M sin sod for my daughter,to be invested and held in trust until some confidence was achieved about her relationship being fair and equitable over time.But who knows what will be the situation at the time.The last decision will be hers and maybe she will decide to risk it all for no sin sod

[KHONDAHM]

By the way,I would like 2 M sin sod for my daughter,to be invested and held in trust until some confidence was achieved about her relationship being fair and equitable over time.But who knows what will be the situation at the time.The last decision will be hers and maybe she will decide to risk it all for no sin sod

Now this is an interesting thought. Should I require sin sod for my little girl when she grows up? Being a "shotgun daddy", my inclination is to give the wanna-be groom a really hard time , make him think he has to dig deep, then tell him not to worry about it. No way would I demand money from my future son-in-law. Just wouldn't ever sit right with me on many levels. If he sticks around after I put him through the wringer, then I would be convinced that he is good enough for my daughter. He's gotta prove he has love, fidelity, common sense, ambition, book knowledge, enough life knowledge, means of adequate support, and some semblance of a well thought-out life plan after marriage. That's all I will care about when that time comes.

But, since we are raising her to be independent-minded and opinionated, I just asked her what she thinks. Her 8 yr old response?:

"Pop, you crazy? I don't want to marry anybody. We have to stay together forever. Me, you, and Mom. Oui!"

Gotta love her.

[Texpat]

Who gets the dough when lesbians marry?

[pompui]

Who gets the dough when lesbians marry?

Probably the lady in the relationship,Tomboy should pay for everything including toys(rampant rabbit and the like)

And since they cannot marry in Thailand then Tomboy needs to pay also for flight tickets.

[Tilokarat]

That is my understanding too. Tom pays for Dee.

It seems they just start living together without thought of a marriage ceremony or trip to the amphoe muang.

Some academic wrote a book about Toms and Dees a few years back. You can always get it at Asia Books, or any other bookstore that sells English-language histories and studies of Thailand. However, I have not seen one of those stores in Thailand, maybe, the new guy, 'the Librarian', carries it.

[BKKSTAN]

My wifes oldest sister and the most productive worker,economically, in the family,is a lesbian tomboy.She has bought 3 houses in 3 different serious relationships,in the midst of building the third in Roi-Et at the moment.She finances all the kariokie parties with her group of lesbian friends and is the big spender showoff when she comes back to the village!

[Tilokarat]

Gee BKKSTAN it seems that we are always in agreement...let's just not discuss various coloured shirts. 55555

Your sister-in-law seems to be a real go-getter with an ability to have a good and rich life.

In my above post I meant to write that you probably could not procure the book, 'Toms and Dees' in Udonthani. Obviously, it can be purchased in Bangkok and Chiang Mai, and possibly in other parts of Thailand too.

[BKKSTAN]

Gee BKKSTAN it seems that we are always in agreement...let's just not discuss various coloured shirts. 55555

Your sister-in-law seems to be a real go-getter with an ability to have a good and rich life.

In my above post I meant to write that you probably could not procure the book, 'Toms and Dees' in Udonthani. Obviously, it can be purchased in Bangkok and Chiang Mai, and possibly in other parts of Thailand too.

Now now,don't go over the edge You are more ''assimilated''in Thai culture,than I am or ever will be!!
I just got up early in the morning to watch NFL games,my posts are commercial time ''hiccups''!

[Tilokarat]

Not a bad reason for rising early. I hope your beloved Buffalo Bills do well. You do follow the Bills, don't you?

As for assimilation, you are getting there, and you have a great understanding of the way people in Thailand, including farangs, think, act and react.

[BKKSTAN]

I am not a Bills fan.I root against Owens!I am a 49er fan,as I come from the bay area of California!They play Monday night,so that will be Tuesday morning for me!

[Tilokarat]

Too bad the mighty Cardinals will win that division.

One of the greatest games I saw was many years ago featuring the Detroit Lions and the San Francisco 49ers. I believe John Brodie was the San Francisco quarterback. It might have been a playoff game, or at least the winner would go off to play the Cleveland Browns for the championship. The 'Niners were up by three touchdowns, I think, entering the last quarter, but the Lions came back to win a very thrilling game. As a resident of the Bay area, this might have been one of the more forgettable games in your chequered history.

In those days (late '50s) I liked the Chicago Cardinals and the Detroit Lions.

Are we on topic?!?

[maaka]

yea whats have gridiron got to do with lesbian tomboys..might be a joke coming there..hehehe