''Taking the piss out of someone''

[nkstan]

Maybe someone can explain the value of this to me!Every since I have been in Thailand,I have had difficulty with it,especially with relative strangers!

It is extremely difficult for me to make friends with someone that that initiates what,IMO,are such disrespectful remarks when I share my feelings with them,especially on a serious topic!

The truth is,I feel like punching them ,it angers me so!

I am used to calling people friends that show an interest by being supportive,rather than being critical or making light of how I am feeling.People that show their friendship by allowing one to voice/vent their emotions without criticism and smart ass remarks.

If I am stating an opinion or asking a question,it is different,The other persons response is called for and there opinion/criticism is ,IMO, warranted and valid!

I am interested in the thoughts and opinions of others ,so this is presented as a ''question'',not a ''vent'',so have a ''go'' if you like!

[trubrit]

I think it may help Stan if you gave an example of what you call "Taking the piss" As quite often what we Brits would call " Pulling your leg" A remark purely designed to get you going, without any malice at all ,can be taken by people from different backgrounds as an intrusion. I myself am however often subjected to what can only be described as derogatory comments by posters who have for the most part, joined the talkers , where they can continue with their "fun" and I don't have to read it .Quite conversely I do find them funny as they reveal more about themselves and their inability to state their prejudices openly, preferring to disguise it under the banner of humour .
I can only suggest if you are the recipient of piss taking you take the attitude I do. Feel sorry for them by all means, but continue to be your own man. Do as you like to do. This is me. If you don't like it, then its your problem not mine .I have my life to live, its too short to worry about other peoples narrow perspectives .

Wear your ROLEX with pride, after all its you that earned it .

[nkstan]

I think it may help Stan if you gave an example of what you call "Taking the piss" As quite often what we Brits would call " Pulling your leg" A remark purely designed to get you going, without any malice at all ,can be taken by people from different backgrounds as an intrusion. I myself am however often subjected to what can only be described as derogatory comments by posters who have for the most part, joined the talkers , where they can continue with their "fun" and I don't have to read it .Quite conversely I do find them funny as they reveal more about themselves and their inability to state their prejudices openly, preferring to disguise it under the banner of humour .
I can only suggest if you are the recipient of piss taking you take the attitude I do. Feel sorry for them by all means, but continue to be your own man. Do as you like to do. This is me. If you don't like it, then its your problem not mine .I have my life to live, its too short to worry about other peoples narrow perspectives .

Wear your ROLEX with pride, after all its you that earned it .

Without a specific,I would say,when one is sharing emotions ,their feelings,someone makes fun,starts giving advice or criticizing!
The forums seem to bring it out of many through the anonymity or lack of personal contact that might promote empathy or sympathy!I have gotten used to that as I have gain my forum 'legs'',but in person,it is a different story!
I understand some people have an ego need to speak rather than listen,sometimes alcohol impairs judgement,ignorance and genuine caring are not always present.

Personally,I live by the old saying''treat others as you want to be treated'' and if my actions are otherwise,I am interested to know ,so that I may apologize and change!

[trubrit]

Oh sorry. Your original post didn't make it clear you were talking about personal contact rather than posting on here .
There really is no answer to why that should be. I can only think you are mixing in the wrong company and you should do as I did, change your circle of "friends" Whilst I agree the beer may make some appear aggressive you must remember that drink only releases the inhibitions that would normally lie dormant.The alcohol doesn't cause the aggression .So they are not suitable company anyway.

[KHONDAHM]

I know exactly what you mean, nkstan. It annoys the hell out of me, too. Sometimes opinion or advice is not called for and some people don't "get" that like a rhetorical question which requires no answer, an entire conversation can be rhetorical and just requires a listener having sympathy, empathy, or apathy. BUT as pointed out, some people just HAVE to provide an answer for EVERYTHING when they should sometimes just shut up and listen.

I deal with it by just avoiding those types during times when I really just need to bytch or vent. Yet another reason why I love my wife so much. She just sits and listens and lets me get whatever out of my system. Sometimes for hours or sporadically for an entire day. Or I call up a longtime friend who recently returned to the States but can empathize with me. We'd spend hours just bytchin to each other about this or that. Nothing ever got resolved, but it sure felt great afterwards just knowing somebody understands.

[old-timer]

The truth is,I feel like punching them ,it angers me so!

Here's the thing stan, most of the people that will be give you derogatory remarks to what you feel is a serious issue, you will never meet, because they hide behind there keyboards. You will never meet them to give them a right hander because they are cowards and will never show themselves amongst the UT community.
OT gives out plenty of stick to other posters and receives plenty back, however most of the people that take the p1ss are hiding behind their monitors and will never show there face in public.
On a final point, a little bit of taking the p1ss can be completely harmless to the poster but perceived by the reader as insulting - not everyone has the same way of seeing things.

OT.......

[Aardvark]

Surely you must all jest. What weak minded people take insult to a fun stance. Wake up and smell the flowers and realise that a response to you post is a positive and in no way denigrates you . Stan, I thought you were above that

[Khun Paul]

I agree with OT and Khondham, however in reality there is difference between ' taking the piss ' and ' pulling ones leg ', Taking the piss can be done in humourous way but in the main it is done with a desire to cause the person who one is talking about a degree of embarrasment or even mental cruelty in its mild form.
Pulling ones leg is always done with a smile on the face and a funny undertone so that even thought the recipient may feel upset they eventually see the funny side. My personal point of view.

So often on this site and many other ike it, people add their degrogatory comments, because they are faceless or their lives are so sad that they spend hours in front of a computor and talk absolute rubbish 99% of the time.

Now I am not above that , but in the main i do try to put a reasonable perspective on posts I answer , but I must say that many posts are now so banal that actually, reading some of them, one does wonder at the intelligence level of the postee.

Stan do not get too upset about some comments, just think if a person cannot answer a post in a responsible way they are the losers not you , and in some instances often a PM to a friend does help as opposed to posting a new message

[gulfman]

'Taking the piss' out of someone is the Brit national sport (after soccer).

Stan talks about ‘relative strangers’ being unsympathetic. I suppose that it depends upon your culture and upbringing. When I’m having a quiet drink the last thing I want is for some stranger or 'relative' stranger, to start telling me his problems, especially when those tend to relate to ‘what is wrong with Thailand’.

I’m not unsympathetic – I really don’t care about other people’s problems and have no wish for them to be shared with me.

[nkstan]

Actually,as I said,I have developed my forum legs over time,recognizing the realities of the anonymous and distant comments.
I should have been more specic in my OP,although my experience is that the comments would be about whatever by many posters!
My reference is to person to person conversations between people that hardly know each other!

It is my experience that close friends can say just about anything and intend no malice!

I have also noticed that the ''piss takers'' never make these comments about the other persons wife or GF!

It seems that their are some males here that believe sharing feelings with someone you trust to allow venting is inappropiate for a man,they are welcome to their opinion and their way of dealing with pentup feelings,but I have had great experience with both and being able to vent is by far the most productive and therapuetic approach ,by far,for me!
Snide ,twisted comments by those who have no intimate relationship with the person they are directed at,are IMO,ugly hateful and disrespectful,not meant to help in the least!That is not to say that joking around with those one is familiar with is disrespectful,it is that there are appropiate times and places for ''funning''!

Those that make light of my argument because they say it is their custom and right,please tell me how many times you have done it with a Thai of stature or influence in your life!I would guess never,because you recognize and RESPECT the consequences of your actions and the different effect that is has on Asian culture!Well,not all falang ''cultures'' are the same either!

[Texpat]

Nine times out of ten it's an insecure person trying to discredit or insult someone they feel is superior.

They look at life as a race, and by tripping the faster runner, it improves their own time.

Ironically, they're incredibly sensitive when the tables are turned. They're brittle like that.

[Bandung_Dero]

The truth is,I feel like punching them ,it angers me so!

Here's the thing stan, most of the people that will be give you derogatory remarks to what you feel is a serious issue, you will never meet, because they hide behind there keyboards. You will never meet them to give them a right hander because they are cowards and will never show themselves amongst the UT community.

OT.......

I assume I am one of whom you speak as we have never met but had words. So, how the f#ck can you dare to call me a coward. I'll see you any time any where and we can most certainly sort it out! ARSEHOLE!

[thedude]

Can you imagine what a different place this would be if we all had our own pix for avatars and our own names, sorta like real life?

Or even...if we spoke & acted like we did? Or is it, "like we should?"

Something about cyberspace from the very beginning begat anonymity, stealth, and aliases -- funny that.

[Astana]

I agree with OT and Khondham, however in reality there is difference between ' taking the piss ' and ' pulling ones leg ', Taking the piss can be done in humourous way but in the main it is done with a desire to cause the person who one is talking about a degree of embarrasment or even mental cruelty in its mild form.
Pulling ones leg is always done with a smile on the face and a funny undertone so that even thought the recipient may feel upset they eventually see the funny side. My personal point of view.

So often on this site and many other ike it, people add their degrogatory comments, because they are faceless or their lives are so sad that they spend hours in front of a computor and talk absolute rubbish 99% of the time.

Now I am not above that , but in the main i do try to put a reasonable perspective on posts I answer , but I must say that many posts are now so banal that actually, reading some of them, one does wonder at the intelligence level of the postee.

Stan do not get too upset about some comments, just think if a person cannot answer a post in a responsible way they are the losers not you , and in some instances often a PM to a friend does help as opposed to posting a new message

I don't know if you realise it but maybe your writing about the demise of many forums like this one, where posters decide not to post becuase of the wrath they receive in return for posting something which they believe is quite innocuous, but the replies received seem to go off on an unexpected tangent never intended by the OP and cause heated argument where none was intended.

[Texpat]

The truth is,I feel like punching them ,it angers me so!

Here's the thing stan, most of the people that will be give you derogatory remarks to what you feel is a serious issue, you will never meet, because they hide behind there keyboards. You will never meet them to give them a right hander because they are cowards and will never show themselves amongst the UT community.

OT.......

I assume I am one of whom you speak as we have never met but had words. So, how the f#ck can you dare to call me a coward. I'll see you any time any where and we can most certainly sort it out! ARSEHOLE!

Had to save this one before it goes. Classic.