why Arthur never married a THAI (LONG)

[Irish Alan]

I thought when he spoke of faen he meant fairn as in boyfriend/girlfriend/lover.

[Marmite The Dog]

^ Yes, he did. It was his accent implied by the odd spelling of it (to my mumbly English ears) that I was whinging about.

[Brian Davis]

I cannot possibly read all that.
I think I’d be worried that in analyzing everything so much, I’d be forever wondering where and who I might be living with in this world and just who might actually tolerate ME!
Perhaps the time spent above might be put to better use by trying to make things work? - whilst appreciating that can be very difficult.

[Farang1]

I started to read it. Got about half way through the 2nd para....gra.....

[rick]

I read nearly everything posted on Udonmap, but this took me 3 days...... there may have been one or 2 small nuggets of Information, but it was heavy going. I guess arthur's writing career meant he never had time to get married. Only thing i remember, it said Thai women do not do sex after 40. Oh well, better make hay!

[BKKSTAN]

Would make a good masters thesis and about as long.

I'm guessing that for most of us that have been here for awhile , been through our own relationship experiences and especially those that have been in a relationship for awhile,this article might be to long to keep our interest as we feel we don't need or want to''look at'' or analyse our relationship now!

For me,I find that I am in general agreement with him on most all his points,which he has definitely explained thoroughly!This gives me both the confirmation and recognition of my past mistakes and reminds me to not forget my part in my cross-cultural relationship which is the most important item in my life at this time!

One of the things I liked about this article was the positive attitude towards Thailand and Thai people in general,I definitely got a sense that he wasn't cynical burnout,just an objective person that believes that he knows what he wants in a mate relationship and it doesn't come in a ,generally speaking,Thai cultural package!

I believe that most of all the guys that had hurtful,financially disabling relationships would have been able to avoid most of it ,if they had the ability to absorb and apply the points he makes in this article!

[BKKSTAN]

· Honesty-Integrity

· Intellectualism-Style v. Substance

· Value of a husband

· Accommodation, Compromise, Gratitude

· Sex

Numbers 1 & 4,are the biggies although all are very challenging!

I believe that there is an attitude engrained about the sex over 40 that is culturally biased,but easily overcome in a loving-giving relationship and there are always those that don't fit the cultural programmed mold and do indeed enjoy and want sex after 40!
2 is very important,as communication and varying intersts arrest boredom as time passes.
3 is very challenging to the relationship,the ego and the wallet.I doubt many guys would want a relationship with someone that makes them last in the pecking order as far as importance!

One thing about the author that might have given him his objectiveness is that he came here as a young man not focused on a desire for a G/F,didn't come as a tourist,spent a sum of 10 yrs. here culturally immersed over a 30 year period.Which is quite different than most of us,which probably came in our ''later'' years where the interest of young beautiful woman that were available,challenged our ability to be so objective!

Once more,I say ''Thanks for luck!!''

[cali4995]

You guys are over-analyzing all this stuff again. eat-sleep-shag-die . trying to read that
is like taking a master's level sociology class. oh well, that's from a heathen's perspective.

[BKKSTAN]

You guys are over-analyzing all this stuff again. eat-sleep-shag-die . trying to read that
is like taking a master's level sociology class. oh well, that's from a heathen's perspective.

[konstabel els]

judging by the comments - boy was I lucky - she even likes ' West ham ' nowdays - she cant get into ' Skrewdriver or bad manners - still time will tell

[beer monkey]

1 out of 3 ain't to be sniffed at konstabel eels.

[saint]

You guys are over-analyzing all this stuff again. eat-sleep-shag-die . trying to read that
is like taking a master's level sociology class. oh well, that's from a heathen's perspective.

as a fellow heathen , i tend to agree with you , although you seem to have forgotten drink , and golf !!!! . your point about analysing every thing about a relationship is spot on , its either good or bad for the individual , if its bad try to fix it , if you cant fix it , bin it , end of . for those of you that tend to over analyse life itself , while your doing so , life is ticking merrily on , and one day you will be on your death bed , analysing where it all went !!!!!!

[konstabel els]

1 out of 3 ain't to be sniffed at konstabel eels.

allright I'll tell ya what we should do - how about me and you ( none of the boys !! - nuffink like that ) nip out for a ' Tandoori ' - the age of chivalry and romance is not dead in my household squire!!!

[Brian Davis]

In spite of my previous post and inspired by others’ efforts, I did read this lengthy document.
It wasn’t Thai lady bashing for the sake of it.
I suppose I was partly seeking some confirmation of the difficulties faced in my first Thai marriage – and found it. But let’s be clear, I shared in the blame for the break up, caused by many of the matters referred to.
I do feel many of his major and minor points very much ‘hit the nail on the head’ and emphasise the difficulties some relationships might face. Yes, there are successes, but many failures too.

I can’t sum up better than BKKSTAN.

I believe that most of all the guys that had hurtful,financially disabling relationships would have been able to avoid most of it ,if they had the ability to absorb and apply the points he makes in this article!